i hate spotify ads because i listen to playlists in the shower a lot and there is nothing more startling than being completely naked and suddenly hearing lebron james say “i’ll tell you what makes me thirsty”
I hate it when netflix pauses and asks me if im still watching like yeah you actually think i got up and started doing something with my life bitch put my show back on
is there a month between april and june?
you can’t answer your own jokes
“why did the chicken cross the road?” “why” “sorry cant answer my own jokes ur gonna have to find the solution yourself”
Physically, yes I can live without you. I can eat, breathe, and sleep easily without you.
But if I’m not sharing half of a medium pizza with you, then I don’t want to eat.
And if I can’t feel your body move up and down as you breathe, I see no purpose in breathing.
And if I’m not waking up chest deep wrapped in your arms, then I don’t want to sleep.